6 Trends I’m Not Buying

1.  Capsule wardrobe. I’m pregnant. My entire wardrobe is a capsule. I wear the same maternity dresses and jeans plus one pair of gray corduroy pants. Oh and leggings. So you better believe that once I’m done with this being pregnant foolishness, I’m going to wear all sorts of frivolous things that don’t involve elastic waists. (caveat: lots of people seem to really think the concept of a capsule wardrobe is great. And that's really good for them, just not my cup of tea.)
   
2. Veganism. Lucan and I ate 7 pieces of bacon last night. Lance had 2. We don’t believe in veganism unless it involves bacon.
   
3. Pumpkin everything. I bought one can of pumpkin. I might make a loaf of pumpkin bread and call it good. We went to the pumpkin patch last weekend and I thought it was entirely overrated and overpriced. It should be noted that Lance and Lucan thought it was a lot more fun than I did, so it could be pregnant crabby lady too …
   
4. iPhone 6. Duh, I just got my first iPhone 5c over Labor Day, so I’m sure as not getting a new phone for a good long time. Besides Lance won’t let me.
   
5. Decorating for Halloween. First off, spiders creep me out. As do scary witches and masks. Second off, who has time to do all that decorating? Or the space? I put out a few gourds, pumpkins and colored leaves for “autumn” and call it good. Lasts me September through November.
   
6.  Mashed cauliflower as a substitute for mashed potatoes. You can’t fool me. There’s no carby goodness hiding in those “faux-potatoes.” I have no issue with cauliflower. Just don’t try and trick me and say it’s a potato. Momma didn’t raise no fool.