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Kara's Birthday Wish List

Working outside the home is not a sin.

One of the best parts of my flexible working part-time from home schedule is my Tuesday morning Bible study. A large portion of my friendship circle includes women who are either stay-at-home moms or work-from-home moms or moms with flexible schedules. When I had Gracie I attended this same Tuesday morning Bible study while I was home on maternity leave. It was great - I got to talk about Jesus, see my friends, get some nibbles and have some quality Bible study time.

It’s been an absolute delight to know that Tuesday mornings I have Bible study. Love it. This past couple of months we’ve been studying the Proverbs 31 woman. Basically if you know the Proverbs 31 woman, you’ll know that she is all things wise and wonderful, hardworking and honest and a credit to her husband and family. She’s great. A little more than unattainable, but still, great.

You can’t discuss the Proverbs 31 woman without discussing women and work and working outside the home. There was actually a question in the study guide that I left blank because I have so many feelings about women in the workplace. So.many.feelings. And by feelings I mean righteous anger.

Did I miss the part where it become biblical for women to give up their jobs in the workplace once they had children?

Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Whatever assignment you are tasked with doing, it’s about the heart in which you do it. Wiping butts (just did it) or working to traffic a project through client approval, it’s all about knowing that you are exactly where you God wants you to be in that very moment. Because at the end of the day, God created you. He is the one that gave you your particular gifts and talents. In the lovely words of Jen Hatmaker “God created an entire package. It all counts. There are no throwaway qualities. [...] Maybe your best thing won’t draw a paycheck, but it is how you shine and glow and come to life and bless the world. [...] Just because you don’t get a pay stub doesn’t mean you shrink back or play small or give it all up. Do your thing. [...] You are making the world kinder, more beautiful, wiser, funnier, richer, better.”

YES! YES! YES! God created you smart and talented so you can share those things with the world. Are you throwing away those qualities because someone told you that now you’re a mom you have to put those gifts away? THAT’S CRAP.

Yep, I said it. Just because you are staying home with your kids and not working 8-5 does not make you a better mom than I am. Nope, not even a single bit. Because I can half heartedly play with my kids all day long and read the same five page book over and over again and there is not one bit of me that thinks I’m killing it at being a better mom than you just because I’m home with my kids during the day.

I’m going to end all of this ranting (because let’s call a spade, a spade folks and I’m definitely ranting) with a plea for everyone to be a bit nicer. Women, quit being all judgy if you think you are a better mom because you don’t send your kids to daycare. Why are you judging in the first place? What part of her life are you jealous of? Because that’s probably the heart of the problem - comparison. Your life is not her life. Her life is not yours. Her choices are not your choices. Her finances are not yours. Your heart issues are not yours. Because believe me, that mom who is working at a job that she may or may not love, might not be what she envisioned for her life either. But you don't know because you aren't her.

This post will probably get me exiled.

2015 Christmas Recap

Christmas was a little different for us this year. We split up our family celebrations to the weekend before Christmas with my side and the weekend after Christmas with Lance's side. 

You can read a bit more about our decision to do this on my "When Christmas Makes you Cranky: 5 Survival Tips" post on DMMB. All in all, it was a good decision. But not without a few hiccups: namely my poor planning on trying to find a restaurant to eat at on Christmas Eve. We all had our hearts set on eating at our favorite local Chinese place only to discover they were closed. Fortunately we discovered this earlier in the day, so all was not lost. I called Granite City as we were leaving Christmas Eve service to ask them if there was a wait. Lo and behold - there was not a wait because the kitchen was closing in 10 minutes. If only the host had mentioned that important detail ... Needless to say, while mentally bah hubug-ing, I made supper at home instead of dining out. Trader Joe's Mandarin Orange Chicken and frozen potstickers to the rescue. 

But the holidays are fun and it's a wonderful and blessed thing to see Christmas through a child's eyes. I won't lie though, with Gracie's first birthday party combined with holiday shopping and baking, it's a relief to have the holidays behind us.  

This is Lucan's "Merry Christmas. I'm so happy face." Every.single.picture. I think Lu thinks it's funny to ruin all of my pictures with the same ridiculous face. I'm not impressed.

Lucan's preschool class put on the most precious Christmas program. Filled with songs, dances and a poem. It was so fun to observe all the kids and the clear differences between boys and girls and the kids with fall birthdays (reading between the lines: Lucan only did part of the dance actions. As did most of the boys. There was a part where I watched two of the boys in the back row start fighting while all of the girls were enthusiastically doing the dance moves on point)

His teacher, Miss Paula, must be a saint. Preschoolers are adorable but they're like puppies. They have no manners, will chew on whatever looks shiny and lose interest in things after 3 minutes. Moral of the story: I could never be a preschool teacher.

At one point during the program Lucan stopped in the middle and asked me if he could go sit in the back row with Lance because he was "tired of singing." 

Jingle in the (Valley) Junction. I love the way Des Moines has all sorts of fun things going on to celebrate Christmas. There were sleigh rides and Santa visits but we opted out. However a wandering snowman did catch our eye! (Do you know how hard it is to capture a 6.5 foot snowman and a 3 foot child in the same frame?)

I had one shop merchant ask if the "snow kitty" belonged to me. Cute!

Olaf. Or "Ollie" as Lucan calls him.

Little Miss Serious, opening her Christmas presents at my folks' house.

Cutest present under the tree.

Lucan would enthusiastically open my presents, your presents and your future children's presents if you'd let him. 

Again, cheesy smile. "I always wanted this!" Then he would turn to me and ask what it was. 

Great grandma Ruth and her littles.

On the day of Christmas Eve I came to the realization that we had zero pictures with Gracie and Santa. After reading one of my DMMB friend's post how she had no pictures of her second-born's first Christmas, I was feeling pretty guilty. We made the executive decision that we would brave the mall crowds and trek out to see Santa. It was a zoo. Santa's hours started at 10 and we were there around 10:15 AM. Lance and I took turns standing in line, but we probably waited an easy 35 minutes. Fortunately no one freaked out and Lance took both kids on a walk around the mall.  

So for all that standing in line, this was the best Santa picture we got. Not terrible, but not exactly magical either. I guess I should be happy that Gracelyn isn't crying! 

There might have been bribery involved in getting Lucan to behave.

Creepy *cough* "magical" reindeer.

Christmas morning. You hear about all those kids who wake up their parents in the wee morning hours? Yep, so when we were at my parents' house the weekend before we didn't let Lucan open presents until after dinner on Saturday night which was very challenging for Lucan. He kept moving his gifts around, shaking them and doing all sorts of normal little kid present snooping. Well when Christmas morning rolled around, Lucan didn't ask to open presents right away. He actually proposed we wait until after supper (like at my parents') and then quickly moved up his timeline until after lunch. Imagine his delight when we told him he could open his gifts after breakfast!

We don't make a huge deal out of Santa at our house. We didn't set out cookies for him, we don't do Elf on a Shelf and we didn't have specific "Santa" presents. When Lu asked us who gave him everything, we simply told him that we did. Basically my theory is "neither confirm or deny" anything. 

Christmas jammie picture in front of the tree. Of course Gracie isn't looking at the camera and is more interested in the Christmas ornament she swiped from the tree. I'm happy to announce that she only broke one ornament. Lucan, however, broke three? #boysversusgirls

The nativity set is a fan favorite year after year. Lucan started asking for his angel toy with the people that sing back in November and it's safe to say that Gracie liked it too.

Our Cyclone Christmas tree with red and gold lights. 

I bought some Christmas fabric on Black Friday and sewed Gracie a headband and a matching Christmas onesie. She wore the onesie once and I'm not sure where it went after one washing.

Meringue cookies cause me much angst. I think I'll do a recipe post on these in the coming days, so look for that. 

We celebrated Christmas the weekend after with Lance's side. Our Saturday morning drive was filled with fog, icy trees and coldness. Fortunately the road conditions weren't too bad and I was thankful that we were traveling during daylight and not at night like many times.

I snapped this photo in the car and wanted to stop and do a quick shoot with some of the frozen fog but because of our delayed start, Lance vetoed my creative requests. 

My brother-in-law, Vernon, had complained to me earlier in the day that Gracelyn has never warmed up to him. Well, she happily sat on his lap the entire evening while we opened presents at my in-laws.

Two out of four looking at the camera isn't bad (for me). 

Again, Lucan would happily open everyone's presents if you'd let him. He's looking on as my father-in-law is opening up his new toolbox. I'm not sure why Lu looks so concerned.

Lance's family's church was beautifully decorated. Again, Lucan's "Merry Christmas" grimace face.

I knew it was my last chance at getting a family photo with everyone it. It wasn't ideal as Lance had forgotten his church clothes back in DSM, but we made it work. 

Looking back, our Christmas was a blessing. It was quiet and more low-key. Maybe part of that was due to the fact that I'm not working full-time so weekend travel isn't as big of a setback but it was nice to actually feel like we could do a couple of traditions as a family. Next year I vow to bake less and have more of the presents wrapped ahead of time! And miracles beyond all miracles, I didn't go massively over-budget this year. Yes, you can all be amazed with me. 

Merry Christmas friends! Thanks for sticking with me to the end!

31 Things in October

31 Things I'm Grateful for in October

This month, by far, has to have been the easiest months to list things I have been thankful for!

1. The privilege and absolute delight of attending City Moms Blog Network's Sister Site Conference in Dallas. Not only was I kid free, the conference all spoke to all of my love languages: cool free stuff, awesome food but quality time with quality people. It was fantastic and one of the highlights of 2015.

2. Family helpers. My MIL came and helped with the kiddos the 2.5 days I was gone and my parents came and helped later in the month so Lance and I could go to another ISU football game.
3. Cooler fall temps.
4. Leaf walks with the kiddos.

5. Lucan got really good reports at his preschool parent-teacher conferences. His teacher is really sweet and like a fun grandma-type of lady. You can really tell she loves each of her students.
6. Pregnancy announcements in the form of answered prayers.
7. Glittery leaf decorations from Target.
8. Honeycrisp apples.
9. Seeing baby Gracie start to feed herself. Another question I'll be able to check off her well-child visit.

10. Apple crisp.
11. Watching my favorite trees turn red and orange.
12. Sleeping in.
13. Discovering the Jamie Ivey podcast. If you like girl talk, books and hearing about your favorite bloggers, this podcast is for you. I'm looking at you Andrea C. and Ally V.I.
14. Precious babies being born.
15. The book of Joshua. I'm in a Tuesday morning Bible study and while it's not exactly what I expected, it's exactly what I need. God has a way of working like that.
16. Wednesdays with friends. Wednesdays is no-preschool day so I'm always making a point to do something with a friend. It's good, but busy.

17. Trunk or treat.
18. Adorable kids in their adorable costumes. Mine included.

19. Reeses Peanut Butter pumpkins. Not the orange/white chocolate ones. Those are gross imposters.
20. Having family photos done. While it's always slightly stressful, it's always worth the stress for the memories captured.
21. Pumpkin sugar cookies. Not the best use of my precious nap time minutes, but delicious.
22. Having the wisdom of being the second-time mom. First-time mom Kara is slightly appalled at the things she's letting her second born get away with.
23. Discovering that I can reserve specific magazines (HGTV November 2015) at the library.
24. Hearing Lucan pray, unprompted and on his own before lunch.
25. Krispie Kream doughnuts.
26. WINNING a LilyJade bag.
27. Tailgating with friends.

28. Graphic tees
29. Keurig coffee. Best $50 I spent on maternity leave.
30. Good books.
31. Grace and forgiveness.

Budget Changes & a Miss Money Bags Cash Wallet Review

Realistically, a budget is a flexible, ever-changing beast. Much like a toddler :) Now that I'm working from home and not in your typical 8-5 job, our budget has evolved too.

If I'm being honest, when I was working outside the home, I had a tendency to "treat" myself to a breakfast sandwich (because it was $1.65 for a bacon, egg and cheese on a biscuit) or to a cup of soup during lunch because I deserved it. Having an in-house cafeteria at work was kind of my kryptonite.

Now that I'm home, our budget has shifted. We no longer have the daycare expense (hello - second mortgage) but I don't have my weekly income either. My in-house cafeteria is MY KITCHEN. Meaning if I want something, I'm the one buying the food and cooking it. Trust me, breakfast sandwiches are less alluring when you have to make them yourself.

Because I don't have regular workplace chatter about upcoming trips or weekend plans, I'm hearing less about the cool things other people are doing. Honestly, that's a pro and con to being a home. I miss the slightly inane workplace aisle chatter. I'm less connected to all the cool things going on outside of my inner circle. I'm missing out on things but much of the time I don't even know it.

And because I'm subsisting on a steady stream of tee shirts and target shorts, my fashion IQ has also decreased. I've tried to implement a fall capsule wardrobe but I really am not digging it. Said fall capsule wardrobe is squashing my inner creative shopping fun. That's a post for another day. But online shopping is always tempting as well as building up my graphic tee collection. Because I can legitimately wear cute graphic tees everyday and no one thinks it's inappropriate for a work from home mom.

But our household food consumption is up overall because I've become consciously aware of the fact that if I don't buy fruit and vegetables, Lucan won't be eating any. Yesterday I also bought him animal crackers because he "really, really needed them." Yet once we got home, the box went unopened in our overflowing pantry.

K-cup budget is up too. I need coffee. And creamer. I could tell you I miss work coffee but that's a big fat lie.

Weirdly, hand soap expense is up too. What is it about preschoolers and their incessant need for at least 3 pumps of soap? And like I've previously mentioned I've become a paper product nazi. Lu is only allowed one napkin per day, maybe two if we're having soup. I make him put his tissue in his pocket if I feel like there's room for more snot in it.

We eat a chick-fil-a a lot more. Mostly because they have a play area and I have lots of coupons. But overall I eat out less per week because eating out means that I'm taking Lucan out to eat too #nothankyou

And there's less Target wandering too because between dropping Lu off for preschool and trying eke out a morning nap, there's just no time for that.

Our healthcare expenses have evolved too now that Lance is carrying all of us on his plan. Yikes, insurance is not cheap. We're also trying to plan for taxes better too since I'm considered an independent contractor and don't have taxes being pulled out ahead of time. Lance is happy that the Traverse has gotten to stay parked in our garage too as he's been driving the LHS back and forth to work. That car never dies.

This month has been an expense doozie: we had to pay to have our furnace/air conditioner serviced (because overly hot Kara is a crabby Kara and as I've reminded Lance "happy wife, happy life") and now we need to replace a car tire (not my fault, first time ever!) Last month I convinced Lance to spring for an expensive tri-membership (Blank Park Zoo, Science Center, Living History Farms) so that was an expense too. Life is just full of expenses.

We are still doing a cash budget because it's good accountability. I'm loving the handmade, colorful cash envelope wallet from Becky at Miss Money Bags.

Love the bright happy colors which makes parting with my money so much easier (lie).

The large wooden button is really nice too. It's kind of a statement piece. 

And while it might be hard to see from my photos, the fabrics have gold threads interspersed through them. Super pretty.

Best of all it's functional and so much more practical then using ACTUAL paper envelopes. That just begs for me to lose them. It would be really hard to lose this handy cash wallet. Becky thought of everything here - there's slots for credit cards/business cards/ IDs as well as a zippered pouch for change. It's a one-stop cash wallet shop!

Sturdy and colorful. Each "envelope" has a spot to label which category you are spending out of. I highly suggest that if you are looking for a different way to store your hard-earned cash, you check out Becky's Miss Money Bags etsy store. So great! You can also connect with Becky on Instagram too!

I received my cash envelope in exchange for my review. Opinions are all my own. 

True Confessions from a Work from Home Mom

1. Holy crap, I'm exhausted. This is way harder then sitting in my cube.
2. My employer is demanding and mouthy. Apparently they didn't get the memo that I'm entitled to a peaceful lunch break in which they have to leave me alone.
3. My house is totally destroyed. Like seriously messier than it's ever been. NO ONE warned me that being home meant that my house was going to be infinitely messier because we would be home making messes all of the time.  
4. I'm famished and thirsty. There is no time for silly things like food and hydration.
5. I had to negotiate with Lucan in order to be able to watch 30 minutes of tv that is NOT PBS kids. (I think there might be power issues here)
6. Somewhere I became the paper product nazi. "Lucan you can't have another napkin. One per meal." "Nope, you aren't done with that Kleenex. Put it in your pocket and use it again later." "This is how you properly use toilet paper to wipe your butt." (Good gravy. It sounds just as ridiculous typing it here as it does when I listen to myself saying it.)
7. I get nothing done. Really. I know that Lance has these expectations (and I had the same expectations) that laundry would be done and put away on a regular basis and that our bathrooms would be cleaned more frequently too. I get it, I would think these things would happen too. But if I work on cleaning the house, my actual DMMB (Des Moines Moms Blog) work doesn't get touched. If I work on work stuff, the house implodes. It would probably help if Gracie would nap for longer then an hour.
8. Sometimes I just need a little time for me. But inevitably I feel bad that I'm not cleaning or doing work. I need a lesson in balance.
9. People think that I'm a stay-at-home-mom now. Not so. Somewhere during the day I have to get work done. Except now I have no daycare or quiet time to get my work actually done.
10. Lance comes home, takes one look around and asks me if I had a nice nap. It takes everything in me not to want to hit him.

Lest I sound ungrateful (because I know that I sound ungrateful) I am completely thankful for the opportunity to work from home part-time and be there during the day with my children. I know that positions like this are golden unicorns and only come through fervent prayer and luck. I have the nicest and most understanding employers. But this is a reality check that the grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence. In actuality, the grass is more like spray painted astro-turf that was used to cover up the decidedly dead grass underneath. I digress.

This is the job that I've prayed for for four years. But just like anything you hope for, it's never all it's cracked up to be.

Top Ten Reasons Why Having a New Baby is AWESOME!

1.       Obviously newborn cuddles. Obviously.

2.       Still a little chubby? No problem, you just had a baby!

3.       Do you need to excuse yourself from a mind-numbing conversation? Sorry, I need to check on my baby now. I think I hear her crying.

4.       Late everywhere? Oh, diaper blowout just as we were leaving …

5.       Need a nap? NO ONE should fault a new mom for needing an afternoon nap.

6.       Compliments about how cute your child is. (I know that vanity is not healthy. But sometimes when everything else in your life is upside down, a stranger’s exclamation over how adorable your daughter is helps)

7.       Husband wonders why supper’s not ready...baby was crying and had to be held!

8.       Stupid, obvious mistake at work? Baby doesn’t sleep. My brain is filled with cotton.

9.       Need to disappear for 45 minutes around 7:30 PM? Just give the excuse that you need to feed the baby, rock them and put them down to sleep. Never mind the fact that it takes approximately 15 minutes to do that. Spend the next half an hour hiding from your spouse. No one opens a closed door when it comes to baby’s bedtime routine.

10.   Rocking the two day old hair? Showering can be somewhat sporadic with a new baby. Haters are only allowed to hate if you are obviously smelly from ten feet away.

How to take 2 hours to eat supper in 31 easy steps

I totally get why my friend Erika can eat her supper in 4 minutes flat. It’s because she has three kids and if she doesn’t eat fast, she’s not going to get to eat. Here are 31 easy steps to take two hours to eat supper:

1. Be a naturally a slow eater.
2. Have this weird food thing where you  refuse to eat anything until everything on my plate is exactly how you like it.
3. Have one child. Automatically tack on an extra 45 minutes.
4. Cut your child’s food into minuscule pieces otherwise your oldest child will try and take a bite the size of their face.
5. Blow on their food. It’s too hot.
6. Eat one bite of your own food. Retrieve sippy cup that was accidentally knocked off the table.
7. Try and convince your child that kale is delicious! Not poison.
8. Give your husband a dirty look when he mutters under his breath that kale actually is poison.
9. Have a second child. Tack on another 45 minutes.
10. Get your eldest more milk, a glass of water and juice. Because sometimes you’re really thirsty.
11. Realize that your food has gotten seriously cold.
12. Reheat it in the microwave for two minutes.
13. Start feeding your youngest the delicious homemade pear sauce you made for her. Watch her drool it out the side of her mouth.
14. Hand your eldest child a napkin as he’s spilled all over himself.
15. Oh! My food’s done reheating, retrieve it from the microwave.
16. Spoon another bite of pear sauce into your daughter’s mouth. Get excited when it appears like she’s actually eating and enjoying it!
17. Ack! Your own food is REALLY hot now. Must wait for it to cool.
18. Sigh when you realize she’s actually just chipmunking it in her cheeks to spit back at you in one momentous blow.
19. Get up to get your husband’s seconds on the soup. Because everyone eats soup year-round.  
20. Eat another bite of your own food now that it’s cooled down.
21. Slice up a pear for your eldest because if you start with fruit, he won’t eat anything else.
22. Force feed your daughter another bite of pears. Spoon the pear dribble back into her mouth.  
23. Your son has announced his need to use the restroom. Get up to move the stool so he can wash his hands.
24. Eat another bite of food.
25. Mom: 2 Daughter: 1. #winning
26. Eat another bite of food in relative quiet.
27. Realize that your son has been gone for a really long time … and go to investigate.  Stop him just in the nick of time from throwing copious amounts of toilet paper in the toilet.
28. The come to the realization that he has poop EVERYWHERE. Spray him off in the shower as damage control.
29. Finish his bath. Remember that his sister also needs a bath. Retrieve her and give both of them a bath.
30. PJs & lotion.
31. Finish eating your ice cold supper. But consider it a win as both kids are bathed and in pjs by 7:30 PM!