1. Obviously newborn cuddles. Obviously.
2. Still a little chubby? No problem, you just had a baby!
3. Do you need to excuse yourself from a mind-numbing conversation? Sorry, I need to check on my baby now. I think I hear her crying.
4. Late everywhere? Oh, diaper blowout just as we were leaving …
5. Need a nap? NO ONE should fault a new mom for needing an afternoon nap.
6. Compliments about how cute your child is. (I know that vanity is not healthy. But sometimes when everything else in your life is upside down, a stranger’s exclamation over how adorable your daughter is helps)
7. Husband wonders why supper’s not ready...baby was crying and had to be held!
8. Stupid, obvious mistake at work? Baby doesn’t sleep. My brain is filled with cotton.
9. Need to disappear for 45 minutes around 7:30 PM? Just give the excuse that you need to feed the baby, rock them and put them down to sleep. Never mind the fact that it takes approximately 15 minutes to do that. Spend the next half an hour hiding from your spouse. No one opens a closed door when it comes to baby’s bedtime routine.
10. Rocking the two day old hair? Showering can be somewhat sporadic with a new baby. Haters are only allowed to hate if you are obviously smelly from ten feet away.