My Half-Asian Boy.

My Half-Asian Baby Boy.

Truthfully, I’m not allowed to call Lucan “my baby.” If I call him a “baby” within hearing distance, he balks. “No mommy, I’m big boy. I’ve got my big boys on (aka: underwear). I’m not a baby.” But in my head, he’s my beautiful baby boy with my same dark brown, Asian eyes. He has my nose and ears. He’s half me, half Asian. 

Lance and I discuss what box Lucan will check when he’s filling out forms and applications – Caucasian? Asian/Pacific Islander? Other? If you ask Jessie the teacher to weigh in, Lu’s going to be better off circling Asian. Especially if he’s inherited his dad’s math skills (not my non-Asian, non-extraordinary math skills. Subtracting 15-8 causes me to pause for a moment.)

I recently finished reading the YA book “Eleanor and Park.” It was precious, angsty and really reflective of teenage love.  As much as I enjoyed the book for all of its ability to hit the nail exactly on the head of unrequited teenage love, it made me a little sad too. 

Park is half-Korean, his parents met when his dad was fighting in the Korean War and brought his mom back to Omaha. Being half-Asian depresses Park. In his mind, he’s not cute, he’s not the average white American kid who is good-looking and popular. 

“Nobody thinks Asian guys are hot, “Park said finally. He had to look away from her when he said it – way away, he had to turn his head completely. “Not here, anyway. I assume Asian guys do okay in Asia.”  

“That’s not true,” Eleanor argued. “Look at your mom and dad …”

“Asian girls are different. White guys think they’re exotic.”

“But …”

“Are you trying to come up with a super-hot Asian guy, so you can prove me wrong? Because there aren’t any. I’ve had my whole life to think about this.” 

This book is set in 1984, so maybe at that time there were no hot Asian guys. It breaks my heart that Park feels un-lovely because he's half-Korean. It is my hope that Lucan never feels the same way as Park does. That he sees how gorgeous he is and never feels inferior because he’s half- Asian.

Lucan is pretending he's a robot. Because robots scoot around on the floor with a wooden stool, right?