Monday, June 27, 2011

Baby Hiatus

I've been on a baby hiatus taking care of this little guy:

Lucan Richard was born on June 3rd at 4:46 am. 8 lb 7 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. He was a healthy baby! I had two things on my birth plan that I was fairly adamant about - I wanted an epidural and I absolutely did not want a cesarean unless it was a medical emergency. Everything else was negotiable. I only got one out of the two - I did not have a cesarean. Which means I didn't get drugs. :( We ended up waiting too long at home before heading to the hospital and by the time I was admitted, they checked me and I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing. After 3 hours of intense pushing, baby K made his appearance into the world!

Motherhood, by far, has been the most intense and life-changing adventure I've ever embarked on. Never have I felt less in control of my life. Never have I doubted myself so much. I also don't think I've cried this much in a decade. And yet, never have I loved something so richly.

We have been struggling with breastfeeding. My life seems consumed by it. Weigh - breastfeed - weigh again to check his intake - bottlefeed - pump. Repeat the 1 hour process again in another 2 hours. Add in a couple of wee hour feedings and middle of the night crying (Lucan - not me, although sometimes I feel like crying) and you've got a good picture of what my life looks like presently. I've found myself wondering when life will ever feel "normal" again. Lance typically tells me when Lucan is 18 years-old. I don't find it helpful.

In the midst of all my doubting, anxiety, and exhaustion, I know that our feeding struggles are God's plan for us. He has humbled me and shown me that my story will be used for someone else's encouragement in the future. The most important thing is for my baby to be healthy and happy. This can take the form of breastfeeding or formula feeding.

And Lucan is thriving and robust. Since birth 24 days ago, he has gained a solid 2 lbs and 2 oz. My little man is doing well.

So please excuse the sporadic postings and absences. Hopefully life will settle into a pattern soon!


*carrie* said...


Preach it:

"Motherhood, by far, has been the most intense and life-changing adventure I've ever embarked on."

Amen, sister!

Nicole @ one half world said...

I agree with you, Kara: what really matters is that your baby is loved and is healthy; breastfeeding or formula feeding isn't going to drastically alter his future! Stick with it...the first few weeks are definitely the roughest, but motherhood does get easier!