Thursday, July 9, 2015

Top Ten Reasons Why Having a New Baby is AWESOME!



1.       Obviously newborn cuddles. Obviously.
2.       Still a little chubby? No problem, you just had a baby!
3.       Do you need to excuse yourself from a mind-numbing conversation? Sorry, I need to check on my baby now. I think I hear her crying.
4.       Late everywhere? Oh, diaper blowout just as we were leaving …
5.       Need a nap? NO ONE should fault a new mom for needing an afternoon nap.
6.       Compliments about how cute your child is. (I know that vanity is not healthy. But sometimes when everything else in your life is upside down, a stranger’s exclamation over how adorable your daughter is helps)
7.       Husband wonders why supper’s not ready...baby was crying and had to be held!
8.       Stupid, obvious mistake at work? Baby doesn’t sleep. My brain is filled with cotton.
9.       Need to disappear for 45 minutes around 7:30 PM? Just give the excuse that you need to feed the baby, rock them and put them down to sleep. Never mind the fact that it takes approximately 15 minutes to do that. Spend the next half an hour hiding from your spouse. No one opens a closed door when it comes to baby’s bedtime routine.
10.   Rocking the two day old hair? Showering can be somewhat sporadic with a new baby. Haters are only allowed to hate if you are obviously smelly from ten feet away.

Monday, July 6, 2015

How to take 2 hours to eat supper in 31 easy steps



I totally get why my friend Erika can eat her supper in 4 minutes flat. It’s because she has three kids and if she doesn’t eat fast, she’s not going to get to eat. Here are 31 easy steps to take two hours to eat supper:

  1. Be a naturally a slow eater.
  2. Have this weird food thing where you  refuse to eat anything until everything on my plate is exactly how you like it.
  3. Have one child. Automatically tack on an extra 45 minutes.
  4. Cut your child’s food into minuscule pieces otherwise your oldest child will try and take a bite the size of their face.
  5. Blow on their food. It’s too hot.
  6. Eat one bite of your own food. Retrieve sippy cup that was accidentally knocked off the table.
  7. Try and convince your child that kale is delicious! Not poison.
  8. Give your husband a dirty look when he mutters under his breath that kale actually is poison.
  9. Have a second child. Tack on another 45 minutes.
  10. Get your eldest more milk, a glass of water and juice. Because sometimes you’re really thirsty.
  11. Realize that your food has gotten seriously cold.
  12. Reheat it in the microwave for two minutes.
  13. Start feeding your youngest the delicious homemade pear sauce you made for her. Watch her drool it out the side of her mouth.
  14. Hand your eldest child a napkin as he’s spilled all over himself.
  15. Oh! My food’s done reheating, retrieve it from the microwave.
  16. Spoon another bite of pear sauce into your daughter’s mouth. Get excited when it appears like she’s actually eating and enjoying it!
  17. Ack! Your own food is REALLY hot now. Must wait for it to cool.
  18. Sigh when you realize she’s actually just chipmunking it in her cheeks to spit back at you in one momentous blow.
  19. Get up to get your husband’s seconds on the soup. Because everyone eats soup year-round.  
  20. Eat another bite of your own food now that it’s cooled down.
  21. Slice up a pear for your eldest because if you start with fruit, he won’t eat anything else.
  22. Force feed your daughter another bite of pears. Spoon the pear dribble back into her mouth.  
  23. Your son has announced his need to use the restroom. Get up to move the stool so he can wash his hands.
  24. Eat another bite of food.
  25. Mom: 2 Daughter: 1. #winning
  26. Eat another bite of food in relative quiet.
  27. Realize that your son has been gone for a really long time … and go to investigate.  Stop him just in the nick of time from throwing copious amounts of toilet paper in the toilet.
  28. The come to the realization that he has poop EVERYWHERE. Spray him off in the shower as damage control.
  29. Finish his bath. Remember that his sister also needs a bath. Retrieve her and give both of them a bath.
  30. PJs & lotion.
  31. Finish eating your ice cold supper. But consider it a win as both kids are bathed and in pjs by 7:30 PM!

Thursday, July 2, 2015

We’re Still Living in Our Starter Home




We’ve lived in our first home for 9 years today. Weird, I know. We celebrated our first anniversary by closing on our home and moving in. When we bought the house we were 23 years-old, had zero children and big plans for conquering the world. It was our STARTER home. I figured we’d live there five, seven years tops. There was a period of time where we helping handfuls of friends move every year. Many of our friends are in their second or even their third house. Their houses are beautiful. They are spacious, light and airy. They have smart storage options, sturdy beams and large functional kitchens. They have room to spread out and they enjoy it. If I’m brutally honest with myself, I’m more than just a little jealous. For a while this jealously grew in a knot in my stomach. By nature, I love having people over and hosting them over a meal. Hospitality is my spiritual gift. But the size of my living room and kitchen was holding me back from using that God-given gift. My own pride and self-love was crushing God. How’s that for honesty? 

You see, our house is fine. It’s perfectly functional and according to Lance the best feature is that we can afford it. 

Needs versus Want

Yes, I WANT a bigger house with sparkling countertops and storage as far as the eye can see. However, do we NEED a bigger home? Yes and no. With two more occupants added our space; we are definitely feeling a little snug. However it’s nothing that a good purge couldn’t help. (It doesn’t help that I refuse to let go of my old Spanish worksheets from college and Lance won’t get rid of 2007 phonebooks.) I would love a second bathroom (we have 1.5 presently) but we’re doing fine without it.

Our Budget Says Otherwise

In our past aggressive budgeting, our current mortgage payment was exactly what we could afford. We’re still pinching pennies and saving for that next great adventure. There’s freedom in knowing that our mortgage is not going to keep us awake at night with worry.
HomeGoods Store isn’t Tempting
When it comes to home d├ęcor, there’s really nothing I need. I hate dusting around knickknacks so I don’t buy them. Our starter home doesn’t have room for any more stuff as it is. (Yes, Lance you can quote me on that)

We Know How Everything Works

All our appliances are original with the house. Lance is the king of fixing things so nothing ever dies. Yes, I will throw a party when I can get rid of the world’s loudest dishwasher and the fridge that mysteriously has a hole in the top. But for now, the dishwasher washes things reasonably well and the fridge keeps everything at the right temperature. 

As always, my budget reflections are not meant to make anyone feel bad about their own lives or choices. If you have a large lovely house, good for you, well done! Your house is perfect (for you)!