Saturday, March 9, 2013

Thoughts about going back to work.

On Monday, my second, involuntary maternity leave ends. An employer believed in me enough to add me to their payroll. Needless to say, I have mixed feelings.

Top 200 7 Concerns about Going Back to Work
  • I don't like that Lucan is going back into the daycare system. I think this is one of the biggest concerns for any working mom. We just don't want anyone else but ourselves watching our child. And I'm ashamed to say, dads fall into this category too. I just don't trust anyone as much as I trust myself. I know that the person I am entrusting my child to has more children than I do and has been caring for children much longer than myself. But they just aren't my child's mom! I also think that Lucan is going to wonder if Lance and I don't love him anymore because he has to go to daycare. I know. I'm over-reacting.
  • I'm going to get SUBSTANTIALLY less sleep than I'm presently getting. Prior to my second maternity leave, I was averaging 6.5 hours of sleep per night. Now I'm averaging somewhere around 8.5-9 hours of sleep. I don't know if I can go back to being a functional adult on 6.5 hours. Especially sitting through long, boring meetings.
  • I don't know how I'm going to get anything done at home. When I was working before it was quite normal for me to have almost 2 months worth of ironing to get done at a time. Now, there is never more than 5 shirts that need to be ironed. Obviously this is an important concern.
  • I hate that this is a worry, but I worry about how other CHRISTIAN mom's will judge me about working full-time. Trust me, it's a legit concern. I can count on one hand the number of backhanded comments I've heard about working moms. From women at my church. Don't get me started.
  • I'm going to miss my little man! Granted I'm not going to miss the full-blown kicking battles I go through to change a diaper, but Lu has changed and grown-up so much these past few months. I mean, he knows how to blow kisses and give hugs! That's full-on adorable.
  • How am I ever going to get supper on the table? I suppose this is where I lower my expectations about what supper should look like.
  • A FB friend of mine posted one day, "You can be a good mom and a good employee, but not both on the same day." I keep thinking about that and keeping my fingers crossed that Lucan won't pick up some horrible flu strain at daycare. I remember looking at my caller ID at work and always silently praying that it wasn't daycare.
On the flip side, here are some benefits:
  • A paycheck! Enough said.
  • Paying off my student loans!
  • Wearing my cute work clothes (I've already picked out a week's worth of outfits)
  • The ability to talk on the phone and not have to try and wrestle it away from a toddler
  • Someone else has to convince Lucan that regular -not shells- mac and cheese isn't poison.


Rose said...

I've been struggling with this all year. :o)

I have really enjoyed going back to work and I enjoy my job which helps tremendously. Making more money is a huge bonus, getting out of the house is a huge bonus and yes...even getting ready each day and looking nice has helped me feel better about myself. Having good childcare helps and also you just have to cut yourself some slack. My house is much less kept than it used to be and now I do most chores on Saturday mornings. It just takes a lot of adjustment all around from everyone.

You will be great!!

Nicole @ one half world said...

I think you CAN be a good mom and a good employee on the same day. We just have to get away from this idea that we have multiple roles that are always in conflict with each other. Instead, I try to think, "How can I serve God today in my parenting and in my working?" That question, for me at least, helps dissolve the tension between the two because it brings all of our daily activities and responsibilities under the headship of Christ and it redefines our concept of "good" work so that it is not just fulfilling our own (or society's) expectations but rather glorifying God. (Excuse the longish comment...hope this week is going well!) :)